Spring is here

The remnants feeling that has been lingering around for 10 months is now gone. So she thinks. No more 2am or 4am. No more feeling sugary or upset with the way he talks, the lil details and concerns he shows, the coldness that freezes her heart, the sighs. It's not the same anymore. The ringing in her heart.

So she writes. To tell herself that there's nothing left in that lil shell now. It's a gradual disappearance, time has taken it away before she knew it. The very last bit of it.

She isn't quite sure if that's how she wants it to be. She liked that lil place she reserved for them, despite the greyness it gave her sometimes. There is anticipation for what is coming next; she is awaiting.

Library is Good!

It smells of books. Of old rotten yellow papers. I never liked it before, but now I'm here, with 4 giant physical chemistry on the table to my right, my Fujitsu laptop nicely sitting in front of me, a bottle of spring water only an arm's away, and a snicker bar getting ready, I'm all set for the journey.

Never did I yawn once, I'm impressed with myself how focussed I am in this 3 hours. I'm hungry for information, screening, filtering and reprocessing page after page, I've now the answers to the questions. It's fulfilling. Satisfaction gained for a while.

There are still questions sitting there to be ticked off, and I believe the non-existance answers will unravel itself as long as I continue reading.

I'm just so Pissed!

OK. I am really pissed! I've done nothing but wasted the whole day looking for reagents and clean bottles and syringe and I dint get to find that stupid filters thanks to the very well (not) organised lab!

Seriously I'm very disappointed at how this project is run. I aint askin for spoon feeding, but hey, we're given only 3 months it's impossible to do everything just from scratch! Research needs time, and good research needs more time, we can stretch ourselves, but how on earth are we goin to be productive when the superior knows nothing when asked!

And the god damn clock never stops ticking!

I need to come up with some strategy.

The very-well-respected-waiting culture

I seriously cannot hold up to this so called well-respected-waiting-culture here! I'm not extremely frustrated, just frustrated. It's not like I've not told that I'll be goin to the lab to start my experiment and we know very well I can't enter the lab without supervision. I wish I can, but rules to be obeyed and so now I have to stuck here writing this while waiting for the person to come. If at all you're coming in late, at least show some courtesy and inform me earlier so that I dont have to be an idiot, and come all the way to uni to find out ohh, I can't start anything becoz nobody's here! Time is precious everyone knows that! and this is not even the first time!

It's just sooo different from where I came from. Nothing seems organised, it doesn't feel like a lab, everyone is nice and friendly but when it comes to work, everything is in a mess. I'm sorry I have to say this but I really think something need to be done to improve the situation.

And now I appreciate so much the support and guidance I was given while working in B1-07, I never once felt lost and not know what to do.

How do I strive from here?

Dreams

Talkin bout dreams, all I know is that my dreams have shrunk with time I dont know if it's even right to call them dreams now.

There are so many more things in the front cue screaming for my attention, constantly reminding me of the reality, and all I can do and have done was pushing my dreams further and further from the core. Den, this one girl who talked bout her dream a year ago is now walking her dream. It shruck me a chord, would I have the guts to do the same? I've always dreamt of travelling around the globe, just like her, and falling in love with the passers-by, indulging in every different cultures, sing a local song and dance a local dance.

Some say, talk bout dreams only when you are financially secured, it is the bitter cruel world we are living in, money can buy dreams, but never otherwise. Not common anyway. Some say, just follow the call, we have to start somewhere and lets not let the money issue, career issue or what have you stop you from chasing your dreams. Things will eventually fall into place once you have the first step layed down.

And all these boil down to the very key issue, choice. How does one want his/her life to be?

I'm still searching my soul. What do I really want.

Dreams, exist becoz of choice.

I'm off my toe today!

Something is missing somewhere I donno where I cant pin point it out and I think I m losing focus so dont be suprised if I m slurring my text and I decided to let loose the lace today.

So I did something I thought I ll never do but I did it gave me a 2 seconds high as I typed away its weird I know and weird things always excite people and suddenly I feel sentences without punctuation can be kinda cool sometimes like now I m very sure I m enjoying this nonsense act of mine at this very second I feel like flowing with the stream am I digressing I m losing the point now.

We re talking about surname this afternoon I ve got a very rare surname maybe not anymore but definitely absolutely is rarer than tan or chan or khoo or ong or you know what I mean and I came across another Oh family from Kong Kong yes Oh is my surname don laugh and you cannot call me Oh Oh like how my friend did anyways back to the point I dont know this guy and since I m off my toe today I decided to send this guy a message to tell him he has the same surname as I do and I guess I m now waiting for his reply well not like I care if there is any ok I lied I do want to see if I will be ignored or given nasty reply for my idiotic act like you are such a bimbo and the like or he will be so happy and jump off his feet becoz he now get to know another Oh.

OK I will stop this nonsense now my stomach is calling me.

Cesky Krumlov

Cesky Krumlov, a lovely small town which is only 3 hours away from Prague by bus. I fell in love with its serenity and laid-backness right away it's such a perfect weekend getaway from the hustle bustle.

The town is very small, sooo small you can be done with all the sight seeing within couple of hours. I wanted to go up the tower but it's only open for public in April, grrrr. Why!!! Now I just gotta miss the chance to take more nicey pictures.

Thats the view from the bridge. It's breath-taking! I just love the colour of the roof!

Looking at this makes me feel like I'm living in fairy tales. Where is my prince?

One of the courtyard within the castle. The wall is sooo nicely painted and I tell you the interior is even gorgeous. What a shame we couldnt enter and can only look at the picture they displayed.

Its the first day of spring and it had to snow! The day gets bright as early as 5am or maybe earlier, this was taken at 630 in the morning.

The snow was sooo lovely to look at but it made me want to stay indoor more, with a cup of hot tea, open fire, comfy couch, I'll be all pleased.

ps: try Eggenberg. Its a locally brewed beer which made me red not even finishing a pint!

Easter holiday

Its been two days now. Two whole days of me in total sedation. And it feels very, empty, inside, somewhere. The orange street looks so dead from the window. And that silence in the room, its way too peaceful I'm so bored the ticking sound of the alarm clock is driving me nuts!

Suddenly I'm craving for some human flesh.

Should I start reading.

Our Energy Source In Czech

These are some of the stuff we had in Czech to feed our stomach. I dont miss much of them, cept their dark beer! and the waiters. kekeke.

Langose, some street food that we had in the Easter Market. Its made of flour, deep fried and topped with cheese and ketchup. Simple but very nice!

Dumpling is a must try in Czech coz this is what the locals have. And its nothing like our chinese dumplings, see those white round flat stuff? those are dumplings. A bit plain and so you'll have to eat it with the pork and the very yummy gravy. The pork shoulder was sooooo tender I've never tasted such a good pork cooked in this way! Heavenly! and the pickled cabbage, it goes sooooo well with the whole dish.

I donno why that round white thing is called dumpling, Milan boy told me they just called dumplings. *and I rolled my eyes. Ohh, this is at the Dvur restaurant.

Thats the roast pork. Very very very meaty dish and we're all soo stuffed after that we're craving for vegetables the next day. The Czechs love pork thats what I gathered. but they're realllly beautiful!

Thats their traditional czech style strudel aka the apple strudel. Not too bad but I've tasted a better one. =p

This was horrible. Sorry to say that but it just wasn't goood and now I dont remember the name of the restaurant, something along theresa I think.

Awwwww, I loooove this grilled cheees! It just melts in my mouth. Heavenly!

Onion soup in bread. I like the display of it.

Mixed vegetables and tomatoes salad, we realised we need some greens after being a carnivor for days.

Half chicken cooked on open fire. It's alright but I prefer the pork knee.

I looooooove this pork knee! Very tender and yummy and the moisture level was just right. Perfectly cooked!

Why are all the waiters sooo cute and sooo yummy in Czech?

Where to start?

I've got sooo much to follow up yet sooo lil time. Thanks to all the photos and facebook and blogs that I couldnt lay my fingers off them! Especially after 1 whole week of not updating myself and get updates from others it makes me want to just cut open my skull and down it with all the stuff that I missed!

Having a good holiday always means harder work after that. Like now. And I dont know where to start. How how how. And now I'm planning another trip to Bath and London and Edinburgh and Glasgow, I dont know if I've time to finish my thesis lit review and the crystallisation experiment and the 3 undelicious courseworks which have not even been given a glance at yet.

I also want to watch the other boelyn girl and the tudors. and Swan Lake. and organise a get together.

Kla. I just want to rant I've not enough time to do alll the stuff I want to do. You know, this is soooo weird, I complain more being a student than when I was working full time. Aint student's life supposed to be a lot more enjoyable than working adult's? Hmmm.

Prague hostel Elf

Hostel Elf. A very vibrant colourful hostel I personally enjoyed very much stayin at. And, it's clean!! Czech people somehow like warm colours a lot, at least thats the very first thought I had when I stepped into Elf.

This is the reception. The only thing is that you'll have to go up the stairs to reach here. A lil exercise everyday. Hehe.

Our breakfast is served here, we've got free coffee and tea too! Breakfast is included and it's only 10 pounds per person for a private triple room. The donuts were the best! I never had high expectation for hostel breakfast but this beats me!

The living social eating area.

It gets really crowded especially at night for people to mingle around. Very cosy. Sad to speak we didn't get to spend time here for our ever so hectic schedule.

Thats the corridor leading to our rooom. Aint the painting gorgeous?!! I just love the colours!

Kitchen. You can cook as you wish.



And this is the door to our room. We are one big family. Haha.

Our not very big, but clean and comfortable room. As usual, my bed is always in a mess.

Arghhh. I didnt take any photo of the clean bathroom! How could I forget bout that. One thing to note is that the water aint as hot as I would like it to be, but bearable.

There's one lil incident I'll always remember and never gonna trust the number lock again - I've got my luggage locked and I didn't know what the code was coz I didnt know when it's changed and it had to happen on the very first day on a Sunday evening! Seriously, even till now I dont know how to change the code I wondered how it was accidentally done! was totally completely freaked out I tell you, but thank goodness after fidelling for about 20 mins with all sorts of combinations, the lock opened! The most dramatic emotion change I had in 20 mins! And I never want to experience it no more. I'm now goin traditional, no more high tech digital lock, call me a loser!

Prague - Czech Glass

Czech is famous for its Czech glass, or sometimes called the Bohemian glass (that is just becoz Bohemia was a part of the former Czechoslovakia). Glass and crystals shops are everywhere, literally, in the old town and new town in Prague, so many of them you simply just cannot miss it. And its soo cool to actually see the actual engraving done by the glassmaker on the spot. Every single cut he made was so delicate and precise. I am seriously amazed by the skill from head to toe!

The glassmaker is engraving the glass with the aid of the rotating wheel.

this is the original red glass with nothing on it.

and this is the product after cutting. Each and every lines was so very carefully engraved. Say, isnt it awesome!

Look at this details!

Some of the glass are plated with gold. So beautiful and elegant!

How I wish I'm loaded now then I can buy them for my future home. I love the coloured glass!

My First Trip to Prague

I'm back, finally, from my 6-days trip to Prague and Cesky Krumlov!

There are soooo many pictures I wanted to put it up here but nah, its goin to take me ages to upload them so I'm just gonna randomly select a couples of my favourites. Heh. I tell you, the Czechs are sooooo totallly gorgeous and friendly and helpful and cute and made me wanna fall in love with them! and I'm loving their beers so very much! especially the dark beer (dark beer is sweeter than light beer). I'm not a beer person to start with but man, the Czech's dark beer has totally changed my perception bout beer; it's no longer some bitter fizzy yellowish brown liquid but beer beer itself that tastes only sooo good and drinkable and made me oh so relax I jus want to flirt with that cute waiter! and they are sooooo bloody effin cheap! you wont believe it's the cheapest beverage on the drink list, cheaper than a coke, 30 czk or some places are goin for 20 czk and that means 1 pound or even less for a 0.3l beer!! Now I understand why Honza and Natacha said the British beers suck!

Night scene at Florence, Prague. I always have this thing for lights I donno why, but say, aren't they just beautiful?! Night without lights can only be scary!

Dvur. That's the name of the restaurant. Milan boy said it means in between houses, which is exactly where this restaurant's. I personally like this place very much till we just have to go back for the second time. The food is excellent, the restaurant's awesome with really coool jazz music, and most importantly, Milan boy is sooooo cute!!! He's soo cute I just had to tease him and see him blushed and not know what to say. Gosh. If time permits I probably will have a crush on him. Haha. It's very rare that the waiter can talk so much with the customers but we just did, till he told us that his boss was pointing at him and we had to stop! and we spent the longest dinner there, from 8pm to 11pm. We exchanged number but god dammit I accidentally deleted one of the number and now I dont have it anymore. T_T.

This is at the Old Town, and I can't remember what this sharp pointing gothic style architecture is called. =p.

This is a Baroque style building, it's some kinda theatre.

Old town square. And again, pardon me for not able to remember the names of the sculptures, they are all in Czech language and my brain just refused to work. =p The easter market is here, and we had this really delicious Langose, it's somekind of flour made errr, flat fried bread?



Thats the street lighta again. =)

This was taken at the Prague castle, which is across the famous Charles Bridge. If only the weather was better. It's snowing can you believe it! It's already spring still it's snowing! Nonetheless, the view was awesome! Too bad I'm such an idiot in picture taking!






That's the prague castle taken from the other side at dawn. And the river is called Vltava river.

You can see tonnes of building like these in Prague. Its nice the first time, all new and exciting, but after that, I kinda got immune to it. Heh.

Oh ohhhh, and I bought this beer shampoo!!! Am goin to start using it soon after my yogurt berries shampoo is finished. I just realised I'm kinda obsessed with shampoo. hehe. =p.

We'd yeast beer, dark beer and lager. And you know my fav now. Dark beer is the way to gooooooooo!! =p

All in all, the trip's awesome! Bad weather, but we had really good food, good beer, good view and good companies! I needa bring more money next time! there're a couple of places tht we din get to visit, like the castle filled with dead bones and skullls.

A few words I learnt in Czech:
Ahoj (i) - hello
Dekui - thank you
Pivo - beer
Kolik to stoji (stui) - how much

* j is silent.

ps: I just got to know that Bata, yea, that Bata shoe shop that I only buy my school shoes, is actually a Czech brand!

pps: I'm in love with Kozel

ppps: All other cool pics are on my facebook.

Go go to gym

Despite my reallly heavy schedule, I suddenly have the urge to go gym. Yea, yea I know, busy shall never be an excuse of not doing exercise. but it always just does. for me.

I want a gym buddy wei. And why is it soooo weird here none of my friends are up for it. I seriously need to do sth to tone my arms. And guess what makes me wanna do that. Malaysian Dreamgirl. Unbelievable rite. I never really pay attention to MY arms (coz I simply just don have too, haha) until now and I can't believe how watchin this makes me want to do sth with it. Man, I'm such a vain bitch. I want that muscle tone!!! It looks sooooooooo cool.

And I can sooo understand why Kin is addicted to gym.

OK. I'll do it when I get back from Prague next weekend. Hmm, maybe I can just buy a dumbell eh. I will.

The red berries smell nice

I'm finally breathing, again.

Says who working under pressure is the way to go? It made me not only not sleeeping properly, not eating properly, worse is that my eyes look so swallon now I dont know how did it happen. It's not dark circle. Thank God. I never think Zombie looks very nice. It's so swallon that my already very tiny eyes now look even tinier, my inner double eyelids becomes single eye lid with occansional folds that look more like enhanced wrinkles if I rub my eyes. Grrrrr. how am I goin to look all pretty with big-watery-talking eyes for my trip to Prague tomorrow and get hooked by some cool macho Czech guy? how.

But, I'm breathing again. Haha. I can smell the yogurt red berries smoothie of my hair. Aww, I tell you, I'm soo totally into that smoothie shampoo now!

Ok. I'm actually happy, feeling as light as the feather. You can talk bout sun and moon and stars to me now.

The Opening Of A New Chapter

This is completely absolutely a day of ZOMG!!!

Exciting! Oppositions are taking over 5 states!!! 5 states man- Penang, Kedah, Perak, Selangor and Kelantan!

And no more two-thirds majority!!! Hohohoho

Unofficial: BN denied two-thirds majority - 2.42am
According to unofficial tally, the opposition has apparently denied the ruling Barisan Nasional its crucial two-thirds majority by winning up to 82 parliament seats so far (PKR - 29, DAP - 28, PAS - 25). To deny the government two-thirds majority, the opposition must win 75 seats. On the other hand, BN has won about 130 seats. There are still a few more seats to be decided.

Peeps, look this up: http://malaysiakini.exofire.net/

Whoever on the seats now, please make good use of this giant leap, let our faith in you strengthen, our hope for a better future blossom and Malaysia a place I can be proud of!

Kudos to all Malaysians!

I'm excited! Really excited!

I'd rather not see it now

Gawd dammit! Stop thinking nonsense, stupid lil brain!

Grrr. but I effin don like how it makes me feeel! how how how! I like having dumplings with vinegar, but hell no, I don't want to be fed any now.

Feeling a bit in disequilibrium. I didn't even get a piece of that. Why didnt you let me have that before?

Tug of war. I don't think I'm good at it.

Can I shout?!!

Sigh. Nah, I won't. Outta here, brain, outta here ok.

Ok. End here I shall.

My friend and his Chipster Bed

I'm floating, on the thin air. I can feel the non-rhythmic beating of my heart now, there's a bit of uneasiness there. A very vague one. I can't tell why it is there, it's just there. Nice words that come at the wrong time can have a very low potency, unfortunately. And I dont think I like the side effects. Like now.

Why are you not here? Both of you. I soooo wanted to spit my lung out and now I can only look at the Chipster bed and laugh at myself. No, laugh at you. Kekeke. It's really magical I tell you. How the hell do you do that? Always made me laugh like some lunatic. Where can like that one. =p

Bright Sunny Snowy Day

It's a very interesting phenomenom I must say.

This morning, walking, I had my first lesson of watchin the falling snow 500meters away from where I was, I wasn't part of the dimensions. Blue sky above me, but its grey 500 meters there. It is as if there's another world, and I'm walking towards it.

The sun's grinning, the wind's growling, and the snow's dancing, all at once.

Awesome!

There's a crack I don't like

So we fought. Verbally. I don't quite remember how the process flow's like now.

It all started nice and lovely, sweet. I was smiling. I don't know how it could end up with a slam on the phone. More surpringly, I was the one who hung up on you, which has never happened before, never in my life I hung up on anyone, let alone you. I stared at the phone in my hand, and I just felt like crying. But, nothing happened. I couldn't even squeeze out a drop of tear. It's dry. Cold.

I couldn't sleep anymore. It's only 6am.

I don't like this dream.

The Lost Beauty

Courtesy of James for the picture

Promises are often like butterflies
Beautifully hovering around, and then they disappear
But I have faith in your vows
Just like how spring will definitely come

I still carry the smile that you love
Looking for the lost beauty in every step I take
Whenever tears carelessly trickle down the edge of my lips
I wipe them away with the hand you've once held

From the first second, certain things have already been destined to last forever
Destiny likes to pull tricks, but true love will meet in the end.

Won't it?

My Blueberry Nights

'Sometimes even if you have the keys, those doors still can't be opened, can they?' she says.

'Even if the door is open, the person you're looking for may not be there.' he replied.

So I finally watched it. My Blueberry Nights.

It's 'bout heart break and new beginning. To be honest, it didn't quite get to me in the beginning, the lurid neons, the flashing subway trains, the silence, it took me a while to blend into the soul of the characters, and all of a sudden, every bits become so visually ravishing. Very reflective.

It is very different from the fairy-tale like love movie I used to watch. It is rather mopey and downbeat, which I don't really fancy, if given a choice. It aches your heart with fruitless desires. The whole movie created a feel like a half-remembered dream that refuses to be forgetten. It smoulders in the imagination. Very potent.

The shot is exquisite thou. I particularly liked the close-up bit of sleeping Elizabeth's lips, moistured, slightly parted and coated in a tiny drizzle of cake, almost invites you to reach forward and lick them. And Wong Kar Wai did a bloody good job in marking an end to the story, it left me feeling all tingling inside, ticklish, giving me such butterfly sensation in my stomach.

I'm sure it will evoke a burning desire between couples who're watching it.

Where are you.

D or E

Taking high doses of vitamin E supplements can increase the risk of lung cancer, research suggests while vitamin D could help keeping the lungs healthy. And they all have implications on smokers.

It used to be a passing statement for me whenever I come across updates like these. But, things change. They always do. Everything which concerns smoking, cigarettes, alcohol, make me think of you. Of your health. Are you still havin 1 pack a day? I want to know but I don't know how to put that question through.

Differentiation

It is weird.

'Add later ok.' vs 'what do you fancy, can I this and that, and if I may bla bla bla'. The difference is obvious. One is a question which sounds more like a statement with the I said so dose in it, hidden force; the other is simply all bout politeness, plain.

So you can tell now, I'm the sort who gives credit to the former. Because I'm one of that kind, the I-said-so kind. I love F.U.L.L.S.T.O.P more than other punctuations, and its more than you and I know sometimes I bloody choke myself for that. Soft approach as such doesnt work very well on me I'm afraid, it gives me a cringe sometimes I dont give two shits if I dont like you but if you have my finger tips my brain cells will hate you because I'll be made polite and that requires more energy to get my message across.

What I really want to say is, I loooove differentiation. It allows me to ditch. And god dammit, you've got all the cards now I don't have extras to give others. Would you give some back to me.

By the way dont quote me on what I've said. I've this ability of switching memory on and off. I eat my words too, and that's very much target dependent.

They say I'm such a bi-eatch they have a hate-love afair with. Like the hydrogen bonds. It breaks if you give it a bit more heat but otherwise sticks together like honey bee to flower.

Bite me. What makes you think I'm a nice person. Call me eccentric if you like.

Elections Bla Bla Bla

Check this out on youtube - Elections Bla Bla Bla. This is really entertaining. For me at least.

I wonder who made this up. I do like how it goes soo well with the melody. Especially the Pak la la la la. Haha. It's still playing in my ears now.

What's sooo special bout Feb 29th

Kevin told me apparently there's this leap year tradition here in the UK, where February 29 is the only day that women are allowed to propose to a man. Note, traditionally, is not exactly practising now, maybe, but I don't know.

What's more is that Queen Margaret of Scotland had introduced a law dated back to 1288, fines be levied if the man refuses the marriage proposal. Compensation can be either a kiss or a silk gown of some kind. How coool is this eh!

Any which way, I guess I'm for to celebrating annivesary every year instead of every 4 years. =p