Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Gorgeous

I'm once again, in love. The moment I layed my eyes on you, I know it straight away that you're the one. The one I've been searching for. Everything feels just right when you're held so closely to my heart. The resonance. Do you not hear the call.

Sigh.

I never want to be greedy. I just wish you could let me hold you in my hand to walk out that door this afternoon.

Shopper Monogram Etoile

Friday, November 21, 2008

Call Lane

That little lane I used to walk pass every now and then has turned from a golden yellow to pale grey. Cold. and its the kind that hurts. Winter seems to have crept upon us. The forecast says its minus one today.

I have this frustrating urge to see that wooden floor again. and the orange paper lamp.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Thursday morning

Listening to Eason Chan's.

Saw the message.

Talking to you.

and the colour has just turned blue.

**

How. How could we see the lie under the mask.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Closure

This is what it is. The complete closure of that door.

It happened before. same story, same old trap, same intense smell of ether. suffocating. How could I even forget.

Friday, November 14, 2008

I dont' understand

I really don't.

The cynicism. the coldness. the callousness. the walking away. where are all these coming from? You're only so young. There is never a train station episode. theres no train doors closed right in front of your face. Even if there is, there's always a second train for you to catch. you know it dont you.

So tell me. What is it that you're afraid of.
What is it that make you closed yourself up from the others.
What is that lonelines about.

Are these inborn? Or is this only part of the process of growing up. leave them first before they leave you. is this what it is? is this the way you protect yourself from getting hurt? who's hurting you?

It makes my heart wrenched everytime I see you walk away from us. it pains me. I cant even hide it and I hate it. I hate it as much as you hate seeing the pain you've caused us. What do we do.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Roller Coster Ride

Sometimes, thats all we need - a harlo, a pat, and a pair of ears.

and all it takes is one second.

**

I've a roller coster ride of emotions this evening. Anyways, at least it ended with giggles and flowers and warmth. Thank you.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Mackers in the house

no wonder you asked me go read your blog. =p you know dats goin to make me happy, don you!

hell! you now have me both the corner of my lips pulled up and outward as i'm writing this. god dammit!

I feel so mackers now! =p

Zero Distance

She said, she feels lonely. there's always only her at home. alone.
She never know, she's not alone.
She never know, we're just handicapped in expressing ourselves.
She never know, there's never frustration with her, not even a wee bit.
There's only love.

and more love.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Harlo

I've chosen to sleep at 8pm and now I'm well awake.

60 minutes between 1.30am to 2.30am is when the clicking starts.

Its full moon tonite. I can see it from where I lie. the moonlight. its so bright I don even need to turn on the light in the room. Apologize is playing. the air is still. only your name is flashing, calling for my attention. oh. thats what send pulses, sweat and blood pressure everywhere. its 2.15am.

All the things we did. the memories. the sweet nothingness. I ve locked them inside my heart.

yes. you're so damn bloody right! I never want to let go.

and now Apologize is having me. All of me.

**
I want Maggie Goreng!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

One liner

We are, who we were with.

Hi Again

the wooden floor. pink sheets. citrus flavour.

you and me. i joke, you laugh. and you joke, i laugh.

there are murmurs in the ears, gazing into the eyes. and soft kisses on the neck.

it was beautiful.

Nothing much has changed. Yet everything has.

Another weekend.

I went back to April 2007.

19 months ago, I dreamed of coming here. I stayed up countless nights, listening to Angel, and thinking bout you. 19 months down the road, I'm here, under the cool breeze like I imagined. I am staying up countless nights, listening to Sweet Memories. Nothing much has changed. yet everything has. Its funny.

I'm still the same kind of person I was before.

My mind still wanders, back to your door. back to the day you let me go. Its been a while. A long while I thought, but I'm still ... I'm still thinking bout it often. I wish I could just run away, to find someone new, to move on, to replace you. but the gaping wide hole you left in my chest, the feelings we shared, the giggles, even the fights, can't compare with the rest. they just. pales in comparison.

sigh. I've done this before. I've been through this before. Same 'ol shit. Only different day.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Random

October had waltzed by just. like. that.

I sleep. I wake up. and I ask. where am I.