I Just Want It to Stop

i thought i could hold it, but apparently i couldnt. it hurts. i dont want to be feeling this way. i dont want to have tears well up. i dont want to have my heart wrenched this way. i dont want to feel vulnerable.

have i beeen too emotionally dependent on something that i shouldnt have. where is the old me, i miss me. i miss how i was never bothered by trivial things like this. seriously, why should i care.

have i forgotten that open wound? how many more times do i have to put myself through this? why have i not learned?

please. i just want it to stop now. please. i just want to be in control of how i feel.

all i want is to smile again.