Fingertips

that it is.

the tracing of your fingers along the everyday items, the textile of the dresses, the massages on the back of your neck. and the brushing of your fingertips against your loved one, tucking their hair behind their ears and then trailing down their earlobe...the lightly touch on the side of the neck...and the slow descend down to the shoulder blade. sigh. such a sensual escapade into a separate reality. i'm the slave to the sense of touch.

Such Evil Friend

Dang!!! you're so goddamn right! i'm goin to pen it down and post it on my blog!

Stupid.

how could you use that as a bait. you knew it sooo well i can never resist that thirst-relief sweet. you never wanted to give it to me, do you. you just want to tempt me and see how far i'm willing to go to have that in my pocket.

Evil.

Why can't you just let me have it.

Its only one freaking question.

Spill

where do i start?

it is a lovely night. good food. excellent company. candle light. music that soothe our souls. alcohol. the alcohol is bubbling nicely to my head. i feel happy.

i'm indulging in this nerves relaxing candle light moment. candle light. it always makes me drown. inhaling, exhaling, we are all soaking in the romance showered upon us.

he has his fingers running over my hair. the caressing. and the cuddles. i didn't move. i let myself submit to his touch. such is the tenderness, the feel of red wine and skin on skin. cosy. and all i want to do is sigh.

this is one of those perfect nights. when you just don't think.

i have a sudden urge to fly.

Because of Loneliness

because of loneliness, we fall in love with each other. becoz we are in love, we start missing each other, and becoz of the missing, we feel even more lonely. loneliness and love, they are always intertwined.

because of loneliness, we thirst for friendships, we start to mingle around, coaxing ourselves into the belief that we're never alone. and for the same reason, we choose to keep a distance with our friends, so they could live a life of their own, and we could slowly learn to find bliss in the sea of loneliness.

because of loneliness, we are in love with the tenderness showered upon us, overindulge in your mellow voice, i would only fall asleep in your 'goodnite'. because of loneliness, you think i'm special, even my non-sensible acts are seen as cute, you are concern for my everything. and that's how you'd get hurt by the mean thing i say.

because of loneliness, i started writing. becoz of these words, for just a brief moment, i forgot bout loneliness. for a fracture of a second, i found solace in the darkness.

Self Ego

i so wanted to talk to you and asked how things are with you.

but i didnt.

coz i can't. i can't when i'm still in a mess, i can't when i have yet to pin down my next step. most importantly, i can't becoz you're the last person i want to share my misery with.

they said, just fuck that self-ego.

the truth is i have yet to learn to let it go.

With Blueberry Sauce

reading back those posts are like poking holes on the burn marks and scars. they have stopped bleeding yes. but the pain they caused are still as glaring. surprisingly. its not the piercing excruciating kind, just enough to make you crouch.

when am I goin to engulf myself in the fire and leave no remnants to be scarred once more?

男人KTV

側田 & 胡彥斌 - 男人KTV




每次當苦惱失意
就有人哭红了眼睛
唱着他们的订情曲
对不起 原來碰倒他痛苦處

要吐苦水也許我不願意
十几个人关在KTV
唱着青春 仍苦得相當諷刺
讓我關門 利用咪高峰哭喊幾次

男人歌
唱给谁来听
受了傷 始終怕別人知
我和你吻別 在無人的街
張學友唱出我的情節

沒有歌 怎敢說心事
下一首
有没有你心情
你的背包 让我走的好缓慢
陈弈迅那首歌
是唱的他自己

沒有歌 做人
只懂苦唱怎去遮風避雨

一堆男人下了班不回去　
十幾個人關在ＫＴＶ
然而啤酒 仍苦得相當諷刺
讓我關門 利用咪高峰哭喊幾次

沒有歌 怎敢說心事
下一首
有没有你心情
我和你吻别 在无人的街
张学友唱出我的情结

男人歌
唱给谁来听
下一首
有没有你心情
你的背包 让我走的好缓慢
陈弈迅那首歌
是唱的他自己

男人歌
原来
唱的都是不敢说的心情

another song that i'm addicted to now. makes me just want to curl up under the covers.

Morning after the highs

i dont dare. i know, it's just one freaking click away. sigh. so yes. my guts are shrinking. and yes, its all bout face value. i'm just a coward like this.

**

that moment at the store where i picked up the little black dress and put it on me. that moment, i want to keep. because it resonated with me. just like many other things. the only difference is, i dont always have them in my pocket.

**

what have You planned for me? can i believe in trust. can i believe in tenderness.

i'm well taken care of. but why there is still melancholy in the wind and sorrow in the grass.

The Taste of

Happiness.

Pig intestines - crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. saliva stimulating. 2 leopard printed shoes - cute with an opaque black legging, sexy with a glossy sheer stocking. pulse raising. they sound like any normal kind of food and girls shopping, i know, but even the most exceptional pig intestines and shoe sound like any normal pig intestines and shoe. thats why they’re special. coz you dont know they’re special until its too late.

and my heart was healed, just yesterday. I don't know how, they are therapeutic somehow.

22:22

fate. what does fate know.

that this is the best situation for me to learn the virtue of patience?

**

i've been trying to find a way to comfort the disquiet within me. Cha-Cha gives me highs.

i'm edgy now. just throw me in the arms of someone who can give me what i want.

please.

Contrast

there, the coldness. its growing out from the pits of her stomach, she is getting tired of the uncleaned crockeries, blue carpet and the uninteresting start-up conversation of his. can he stop being so naive? and tolerating. she wants to run away.

**

then, those light-hearted, non perfect flattering words. they came in just right on time, before she sinks into the emoness. there are smiles and stars and grrrrs, all taking her onto a ride of everyday is a little joy.

He's just not that into you

He's just not that into you - its not a movie that will give you the 'wooooooooow' effect but nonetheless, it's my type of movie. Cliche as it may seem, I can totally identify with some of the scenes and the character of Neil (Ben Affleck), sigh, he has my heart all melted when he suddenly showed up at Beth's (Jennifer) house helping her with the chores when she's soo uptight with taking care of her dad who's got an heart attack and a bunch of useless sisters in laws. and the trick of his cargo pants - that was just sooo cute and cringey and heart-warming and romantic and touching and use it on me then i'm all yours.

if he likes you, he will call. if not, then he's just not that into you.

The Night of Cheesecake

The ultimate truth is, we always embrace our own kind.

Bubbles

cold night. minus five degrees. 2 a.m.
fav duck tongues, wings, and booze. loads of booze to kill the night.
i was somewhere in between drunk and being high.
head swirling. i was off the ground.
then there was a chain reaction of gags and dry heaves. mascara mixed.
the pat on my back and rubbing on my chest. it was calming & soothing.
the feeling of being cared for.
2 hours of sleep. it was surprisingly pleasant.
its a beautiful sunday morning.

Vertigo

The heart. My heart. its beating so hard and quick it feels as if it is goin to drop off my chest anytime. Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes hoping to shake this off. i'm like someone who's deprived of oxygen with an unusual racing pulse. that feeling of implosion happening within...its undescribable. unbelievable.

how do you take my breath away.

how do you bind my heart like a straightjacket.

i can't stray.

all i want is to melt into you and fall into your eyes.

Lao Shu Ai Da Mi - 老鼠愛大米

This is on my repeat list now. Simple melody. and sweet. very sweet.

All I see when I listen is, candle lights, intense gazing, wine and a table for two. The emotion swirl it evokes in my heart...

老鼠愛大米



One day, I hope the person I held so closely to my heart will sing me this song.