Unsaid message

Its been a while.

Didn't know that I will still flush when showered with sweet words (you know, those kinda words that make you feel nice?). Flushing doesn't go with age, nor experience (not like I've tonnes of experience =p). Hmmm.

Take away some seriousness, no responsibilty, no burden, life aint that bad. Not at all.

Let me have some selfishness. Can I?

you, on my mind, again.

Thought bout you more these nights. Weird. Might be the 'aftermath' of talkin bout you with my housemates. Hmmm. =p Or might be that I'm a lil worry bout my ability in getting thru the course. And you know what, you said, 'study hard, and get yourself a MSc back' keeps ringing in my mind. And I guess, that kinda keeps me goin; that I'm here for the better.

Happy. Was feeling great after talkin to you before my next class. Even it's just a very short while on msn. You still sound the same. Trying to be cooool when you don't want any emotion to get in your way. But I liked the way you said that 'quick go for your bite' when I told you that I was hungry. Some sense of caring-ness, I felt it. I'm still in the loop, am I not? Thinkin the way I like, sometimes does make life a lot simpler. =)

Hope you're doin as well.

Random Ramblings

Haven't been able to update my on-goings and thoughts as frequent as I'm still not having the internet connection at my place. Arghhh!!!! Worse is that I haven't been following up with the on-goings at my home country. The blogs that I normally frequent, feel kinda disconnected. Grrr.

And the modules that I've chosen ain't that easy as I thought. It's tough! Till the extent that I aint even following for the very first class! Another Arghh!!!! All the calculus, mathematical modelling, thermodynamics stuff, kinetics stuff, all of which I'm clueless about. I'm starting to wonder, will I be able to survive thru' the course. Hmmmm. Shouldn't have thought that the differentiation and integration stuff are useless when in high school. Should have be friends with them. Aiks.

Anyways, one thing to take note of the structure of the class. We, the MSc students are in the same class as the 3rd year Chem Eng. students (and we're with the 1st year students for another module), BUT, the key is, we'll be assessed differently, at a more advance level, according to the lecturer. It's kinda strange to know that the class is designed in such a way, cut down on resources I supposed, and to be frank, whether or not we're learning the same thing as the 3rd years, I think I'm still kinda dead. Lets just hope that by the end of the semester, things are goin to be peanuts! =p

Learning ability, that's what I still have with me. =) I hope.

Just gotta play a lil less, wander a lil less, fool a round a lil less. Never had I felt more like a student now. Not even when I was doin my undergraduate. MSc, is really something! Hmmm.

Mixed feelings?

Will be havin classes soon. Feeeling a lil...Don't even know what's the right word to use. Mixed feelings. Worried? Anxious? excited? ready? not-ready? I don't know.

2 days per week. Others were sayin, wow, you've got a lot of freetime den. But, I'm anticipating more work will be given to complete on those so called 'free time'. Self-reading time can be dangerous. If not planned well. Heh. Gotta constantly remind myself to look forward now. Time is tickin and lookin back aint helpin me in any way.

Anyways, lets see how things are when the class starts this Thursday. Something that I might have to adjust accordingly every now and then. Hmmmm. I have always thought that I won't have any problems in adapting, looks like I might be a lil off track.

And I'd like to put the blame on 'age'. Arggghhh!

Half day trip to Manchester

Half day trip down to Manchester. Though didn't really go around places, but it's been great!

Brother whom I havent seen for a couple of years, still looks the same. =) cept that he's been a lot more talkative. And it feels kinda funny (and I meant it in a good way) that we all went shopping together (with my cuz and his gf too). Am happy! =))

And I guess he'll be good to his gf (if he has one), from how he's helpin me to carry bags and stuff while I was doin the shopping. He's grown up, unlike the old days where offering of help was never exist. It certainly looked weird to see him carrying my girly bag and walkin around, but, hehehe, I think I'm glad. The way he is now.

Family ties. Eh.

Life without the internet

Life without the internet is simply painful.

Have been doin nothing these days, especially during the night. Bored. To be honest, I've never felt this bored before. No TV, no where to go, no blogs to see, no search to do, no thinking much. And I'm sure my brain has gone way too rusty in these two weeks. =p

Perhaps I should make use of the time I have for now to brush up my calculus. =p Oh yeaaaa, one of the module that I've selected uses a lot of differentiation and integration. And, I wonder how much I still have it with me, after 9 years of not doin any maths of this kind. MSc, doubt I can just swing through it.

Internet!! I think I'm having some sorta internet-dependent-syndrome now. Feel like I'm missing a piece. Heh.

Family

Just today, a friend of mine told me that his mum has passed away this morning. For a second, I didn't know what to say to him. And I realised, I was bout to tear, just knowing the news. It hits me quite a bit.

Family. This has always been my soft spot. When it comes to family, be it my own or others, I'll be very emotianal engaged. I still remember once when I was just having some casual talks with my dad, and he brought up the issue that 'what if one day he's old and sick and yada yada', immediately, I just burst out crying. Just thinkin bout things like this makes my heart wrenched.

Life and our loved ones.

Worries no more

Ohhhh, and I've got my bank account done, my registration completed, and my student card ready!!

Today's a good day! Kekeke. Everything settled at once. And worries no more.

Soon it'll be some party time. hohoho!

Hehe. I've got a place to stay now!!!

I have my own place to live in now!! hohoho!

I'm happy! Really happy!! I'll have a japanese and a chinese housemates. They are really lovely people!!

Phew! Finally, get to settle down and unpack all my luggages. No more needing to wear the same few clothes, no more on travel packs, and I can start doin some shopping to get all the essentials, and join in the activities organised by the international students office, and meet lots more people, and have as much fun before the classes start mid next week.

The chocolate fondue night, the british dancing evening, the fruity disco, the games evening, the karaoke night, the around the world in 80 minutes...etc, GAWD. I'll love to do all of them!

Can't wait till tomorrow and Friday! =p

Batu Buruk incident

Haven't been following the on-goings back home since I reached Leeds, and was rather surprised to read about the Batu Buruk incident.

Bullet shots upon unarmed civilians by the police in Malaysia, as a means of self-defense? Huh?!!

What else are they offering now?

Grrr. I can't get my bank account set up

Sooo much of running up and down, yet I still can't open the bank account. Grrr.

Not having a permanent accommodation is giving me a bit of a problem in getting things done. I can't even use the address of my friend even I'm stayin there temporarily. Whereas in Melbourne, this is OK and all I have to do is to update my address at a later stage. Sigh. Will just have to wait till my accommodation is settled. And that means I can't complete my registration anytime soon.

Anyways, since tonight is my last night at the university temporary accommodation before I move to my friend's place (yea, another temporary place till I find a place), I've taken some pictures of the room. The very first sight I had of the room was, hmm, this ain't a nice room, small and stuffy, but having stayed there for 4 nights, it has becoming acceptable. It's all about getting used to and complacency. p/s: but it doesn't mean that I'll want to stay there permanently. =p

It's just sooo different from what I thought it should look like.



Oh, it seems like it's common to have a basin in the room, which to me, it's a lil strange. It feels as though it's a prison cubical. =p





When can I move to my own place? Sigh. Tryin to get settled in a new place can be a very tiring process.

4th day in Leeds

It's my 4th day here in Leeds. All I can say is that, wow, there are really a lot of international students here. I've met some from Japan, France, Brazil, Uganda, Jordan, Turkey, Zimbabwe, India, Malawi, Scandinavian and heh, a lot others that I cldn't quite recall where they're from. =p

It's been great! Still gotta get myself familiarize with the roads and how to get around places thou. The city tour aint helpin a lot (as yet). It's either I'm just sooo bad at directions, or the roads are simply messy. It'll take a while I know. Just hope that it's not goin to take too long.

It's a very different experience as compared to when I was in Melbourne. To open a bank account is quite a headache thou. Unlike in Melbourne, we could get our account done in 1 day, whereas here, it takes 5 to 7 days, and without a bank account, I can't complete my university registration. Which means, I won't be getting my student ID. Which means, I won't be able to access to a lot of things. And international students are not entitled to a lot of freebies. =(. Must have been too many problems in the past with the international students. Grrr. =p

Hehe. But, I'm lucky that I've also met a few Malaysian friends. They all have been very helpful and nice. A lil too much crap sometimes, but I'm sure those are what I'll seek for whenever I miss home. =) I wonder if people from other countries crap as much as the Malaysians and Singaporeans? Hmmm

Leeds, here I am!

It's been a long day. After 14 hours of flight, and another hour of train trip, I'm finally here, in Leeds. Was picked up by the Greet and Meet people from the University of Leeds and headed straight to my temporary accommodation. It's already 5pm by the time I checked in. All exhausted, I was. The weather was good thou, not as cold as I thought. =)

Anyways, it's amazing that I met soo many people along the way. Nancy, an Australian, but Malaysian origin, whom I met on the train, has been really helpful. And it's sooo lucky of me to have met her. At least I've now got a friend here. She's lend me two pillows and a bedsheet (oh yea, there's nothing provided at the accommodation, no pillows, no blanket or quilt, no bedsheet). And hehe, I know where I can bunk in now should I have no place to stay. =p

Will do a city and campus tour tomorrow, and lets see what Leeds is offering! =)

Exhausted already...and it's only the first stop

Dubai International airport. I wish I still have the energy to walk around with my 4h waiting time....but am already exhausted. Really sleeepy and hungry now. It's only 4am local time (8ish am in KL), I think I'll need some rest before my another 7hs flight to Manchester and then 1 plus hour train trip to Leeds.

Don't like long journey.

Smiling again...=))

I'm glad that we managed to talk bout things again after all this while of not keeping in contact. It's not as easy but I'm sure it's a good start. =) At least on my side, I'm not feeling awkward or uncomfortable but happy to hear you telling me how things are on your side. Wish to hear your voice thou, but I know it's perhaps not the right time yet.

And I liked it when you said to take care and make sure I don't catch the cold since it's always raining in Leeds. It makes me smile. =))

I'm really happy for you too, that you're progressing well in your career. I'm sure you'll do an excellent job. I've more than faith in you.

Take good care of yourself is all that I'm asking of you. And I hope I'll hear you smiling again. Like a baby. Like the old days. Without much worries.

It's my day!

I'm really happy that my b'day is remembered.

As we grow older, celebration is no longer the priority. A simple greeting from friends is sufficient to put a big smile on my face and make my day. Even a simple meal, nothing fancy suits me better. Talks and laughter over a couple of drinks are really what it takes.

Thank you buddies. And I do cherish all the wishes showered on me.

And of coz not to forget to thank you my dearest mum. It's a day to remember how she's suffered to bring me to the world. =)

4 more days...

4 more days to go before the 7th Sept, the day I'll be leaving for UK.

It's a strange feeling. I'm worried as the day goes nearer. It's a very unsettled feeling, that I've never experienced before. Being away from home since I was 19 till now, I was always excited and wanted to go around and explore new places, make new friends. But it's sooo different this time. Hmmm.

Is it really an age thing? Or have I started to be afraid of being alone? Alone in every aspect. Nah, maybe it's all the late nites that I have lately. =p