so it was supposed to be fun loving and all, but then i made the wrong move. what was it that had gone into me that night?!!! where was my carefreeness? do you know how awful i felt? damage was done. had i offended something even deeper? yea so whats done is done. what do i do. i thought i'd be feeling so much better after the sleep. but no. it's still hovering over me like the shadow. its into the third day now. and i still care - i thought i wont i thought i can do better than having this shit affecting me. but hell, its pressing on me more than i'd expected. something bordering on i dunno what, something like remorse? was that it- began to grip me and seemed to define itself even more clearly the more i became aware of incipient daylight through my windows. for the first time i balked and prey to self-doubt- we should have talked...
had the liking i felt always been there, though camouflaged, and all i'd needed was a night like that to let it out?
i feel like a hypocrite. wrecked. and i want to swallow everything. it is eating me away, inside out. i want to see the sky.
No comments:
Post a Comment