What do I do with you

heart wrenched. stomach's churning as i hear you speak, telling me in the softest tone ever that you're upset. but there's nothing that i could do other than feeling choked. i didnt want to tear. i didn't want to be the reason that makes you worried and upset. i didn't want to let you know how much it pains me inside knowing you're upset. but you're good. as always. you sensed it right away and the next thing i remember was that i was smiling again. tho still in tears.

how do you do it. how do you still have room to make someone else smiles when you're made upset by that person in the very first place. how could you be so sweeet and tender and endearing. you have no idea how much i love you for that.

i really wish i was there, in person and in flesh.

i wish i could do something with my hands and my hugs and tell you there's nothing you need to worry about me instead of being a phone call away.

i wish i don't do things that would worry you. i wish i could be a lil bit more sensitive towards how you feel.

i look back at the photos of you on facebook. the ones you took for my sake and the one you just put up. your eyes, your smile, your dimples, your expression, the child in you, then the man in you. and then i reminisced about the past months, keeping myself company with memories of the silly little things we did, all the cheekiness we were up to, all the snippet dialogues of the lover, all the meaness of me for the sake of fun and glittery excitement where you're always patiently taking it in until i'm bored.

i miss you. i lied when i said i didn't. i have tried not to think bout you so much but that just made me miss you more. i have so much love for you that it spills over. tell me, what do i do.