after all, nothing seems to have changed. is it true that time and distance have made us too complacent with our current state, or is it true that our affection has slowly eluded us, or have i been pushing a lil too hard wanting to remain true to myself and keeping the harmony in place.

so often i want to surge forward and adapt to the curveballs that the environment throws at me, and i want to make the best out of the present. but it is sooo difficult and exhausting and it hurts, it hurts so much at the end to realise that i'm the only person who's trying to fight the odds and fix things. i wish sometimes that i could enjoy more this process of doing and undoing, but i can't stop myself from being over-analytical about the entire process. am i doing it right? have i gone too far and beyond? is there something i should be aware of or avoiding? have i digressed from the initial intention? is this the best for you and for us too? can i still support myself to doing all this?

i guess i really ought to learn how much to care. over-caring seems like a liability that's not welcomed in the relationship.