Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Susceptibility

I bought a coat which costs me 70 pounds. it was a bit of an Ooouch to my already tight pocket, but I was happy. I put in on once again when I got home; i can see the fashionably gorgeous coat and the glaring smile from the mirror reflection.

and that was yesterday.


Today's grey. I woke up to the sound of the rain hitting the window. the wind was so strong it swept the tissue box next to the window onto the floor. Typical autumn day in England. I sighed and tugged myself in bed, reluctant to get up. its a day of dot dot dot. I have become susceptible to the weather and the sun and rain and clouds. sometimes they are just not what we think they are.


Its Hari Raya today. Theres only Mun to entertain me. and I'm craving for Char Kway Teao.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Mamma Mia!!

Gosh!! I'm just sooo loving it!!!! it's one hell of an infectious and highly energetic best ever musical comedy!!! Absolutely dazzling!!! I was totally swept off by the joy it created!

and Amanda Seyfried, I loooooooooooooooooooove how her hair was done for the wedding!!! It's just soooo gorgeous! and Meryl Streep!! and the songs!!!

Awww! I have to watch this again!!! I heart Mamma Mia!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

incoherence

I had a nice conversation with an old friend the other day; we rambled on despite how satisfied we're with ourselves, there's still something stealing part of our happiness away from us. we finally admitted that we need a man, or rather we want a man to be more precise. the i want a gift sorta want.

My OCD cleanliness was calling me. I spent a good 3 hours on cleaning the house this morning. I scrubbed the tiles, that stubborn stain is bothering me. den the sink, the carpet, all screaming for me to clean them. cleaning and scrubbing have become my permanent job. Looking at the results of my labour, I found satisfaction. Obsessivity is not necessarily a bad thing. innit. it only takes away a lot of my time. I have time to spare now. so i thought.

Yes. it's the brightest of day. I talked to many friends and all made me smile. but why melancholy can still find its way in. There're tiny thoughts and quiet whispers swirling in my mind, vaguely coherence, and I'm falling short to put them in an orderly fashion.

Its officially gone

That is it!

That is all!

=)))

It's the brightest of day! hahaha.

edit: I suddenly feel that the hahaha from me is so weak.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

There's a spider in my room

I keep clicking around. it's 21:38 now. Desperado is playing in my ear. and I'm once again a slave to my emotions.

Unsettled. thats what it is.

I'm not daring enough.

I made my housemate to kill a spider today. and no, the daring bit has nothing to do with the spider killing.

Sigh. I just want to sigh away the nite. i'm not sad or angry. I'm just loaded with this feeling of uncertainty. I'm about done with what I've planned for myself one year ago. whats next?

Searching...

我想看到 我在尋找 你所謂的愛情的美好

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Public holiday that doesnt concern me

For a good 5 seconds, I was bothered. Your response made me want to dig further, why cant you just say what appointment that was.

And then I start to think, why should I be bothered.

**
I just need to talk. Normally this happens only when the sien-ness sinks in. I'm not uber sien today, but I feel like having a conversation. whether it's one with substance it doesnt matter. And the sad truth is, I couldn't seem to find anyone to do that with. What is wrong?

**
Knowing you're starting to think bout your future makes me happy for a while. Its strange but I felt all warm inside when I was told you prefer me to stay here.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

New accommodation new housemate

2 days of cleaning and unpacking my arms are so sore now! moving house is such a tedious process!

anyways, I supposed I like my new room. =) though the carpet is not as new and clean to my standard, the bed is not as comfortable as previous, and I couldnt laze on the bed to do my work coz the wireless internet connection does't want to coorporate, I dont have a lot to complain.




Past few days have been rather relaxing in terms of writing. I've stopped looking at the draft since the presentation and the feeling was just. so. great. Short break is essential. =)

Recharged.

One more week and thereafter the thesis will have nothing more to do with me.

I wish the toilet and kitchen can be cleaner.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Rubbish!

Presentation was over. I am super damn happy!

Then now, I am ... speechless. RPK, Theresa Kok and Sin Chew reporter Tan Hoon Cheng were detained under ISA!

Is this all 'OUR GOVERNMENT' can do, nothing but clinging on the rubbish ISA to silence all critics!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Explosions of Lights

I want!!

The desire is so strong it makes me crouch. clawing at the walls, yearning, longing, but always conflicted.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Wishes

I'm never really serious with making wishes, especially birthday wishes. I dont recall any of them which I'd made in the past 20+ years. But I made an exception for the one yesterday.

I dont know why I picked this year to be serious with things, with a lot of things. maybe it just feels more right now than before. like how the roses story between my mom and dad came bout.

Like many other people, I wish for a good health.

I wish to be more firm in believing what I'm capable of and that I will only be better.

I wish I can always make my parents proud.

I wish the ties between me and all my loved ones will grow stronger and stronger.

I wish certain things won't change.

I wish my learning ability will never die.

I wish I can love others more.

and I wish I'll pick up drumming soon.

Why??

the more i talk to others, the more i engaged in a great conversation, the more i think of you.

it scares me sometimes how every other person has the power to create this second wave of emo that directs me towards you. they said they see you in my eyes, and hear you in my voice.

why.

why do people always long for something that doesnt belong to them.

Tell me

I've never been thrown into a situation where I need to be worried for my family and feeling helpless of what I can do to fix a problem. In that sense, I'm well protected by my family members. and I'm very grateful of that.

I cannot comprehend why some people would do things which may harm their loved ones and expose them to be threaten by others. It's sad to hear story like this, it pinched me even harder when I was told of the happenings but could offer nothing to ease the pain and stress it caused to the person. I don't even know what to say other than asking stupid questions I know are just rubbish.

Whats best to do to take away that sad looking face and replaced it with a smiley face, even its just for a second?

I heard

a whisper asking - why didn't you call.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

3rd of September

is a day filled with love, laughters, smiles, best wishes, friendships, and you. All of you!

is a day of flowers and hearts, sunshine and lemonade!

is a day I woke up to so many texts and msges and warmth and hugs and kisses!

is a day I'm so eager to spread my happiness and give all my cheeky friends a big bear hug!

I'm once again in love with the number 9 and 3!

once again feeling so grateful to be brought into this world, and found all of you in between the billions of people in the world.

Nothing else can quite compare with this delightful day when every thought and heartfelt wishes is fondly sent my way!

I'm just. very happy.