Halloween Party at Puro!

It's a great night!

First time of me putting on such a heavy make up, with some drawing on the face somemore so as not to look too ordinary, but heh, I guess I aint as wild as I thought. =p

Lets get the picture to do the talkin...


Me and my housemate getting ready for the night


Say, aren't we gorgeous?!


As compared to these guys, I'm only normal. =p But I'm stickin to it.


Thanks to the sweat, my flower painting was gone! =p



Black coloured nails. And they are mine!

Colours. They do wonders, don't they?!

Why?

Grr. Why did my eyes get watery when I hear you sayin that you're now stayin all by yourself, and that you have been packin food for dinner everyday. Sighhh. You said you're fine, and will be fine but why, why does it pain me when I hear you sayin that.

Would you have someone to be by your side to take care of you, and cook for you, and watch you sleep if you get sick? Would the house be too quiet like you've once said before? Jus a thought of the 'if yes if no' brings a lump to my throat.

Why am I still sooo emotionally engaged?!

Why is you being alone any of my concern?

Why is a simple word from you like 'be careful' have such a strong impact on me?

Why have I not kept my promise of no more shedding of tears for you?

Why am I even askin why?

Answers. I'm not seeking for any. For I've already known.

A friend told me that he doesn't think that I'm as simple a person as I've portrayed to them. Am I that complicated?

I believe I'm not.

Our first time

Tired. Yet I'm happy! This trip to London is worthy. It's been great to see my brother, no cake celebration but it's good enough! The walk together around the city, den visit to the big Ben, den the london eye, the china town, etc.

It's our first brother-sister's outing eh, and first brother-sister takin pictures together, =p. He even acted as thou he got punched when I said I'm goin to do a post of tryin to punch him. Cute!

My only wish is that he'll start thinkin bout his future and make good use of his time. He's my only brother afterall.

My London Trip!

In London, I am now! Hohoho.

This is me and my brother, who has just turned 24 today, in front of the London Eye. I know, the picture resolution ain't good, but heck, thats the best we could get after more than 10 shots!



Sooo wanted to upload more photoes, but grrr, most of the pics are not usable. =p The photographer (so called) should really brush up his technique. Or maybe it's the camera! Blek.

Things "She' Likes About 'He' 2

He, brought out the lady in her, and made her realised that, she's more than who she thinks she is.

She's after all not a superwoman, but a lady,
who needs to be taken care of,
a lady who needs his broad shoulder to lay her head on,
a lady who needs his gentle touch to continue to glow and radiant,
a lady who needs his soft and supple lips to take away her tears and sorrow,
and his babyee smile to smile back to him,
she is afterall,
just a lady who needs his strong arms to feel safe,
a lady who needs to hear his deep firm voice to stand strong and shines,
a lady who needs his presence to learn what compromisation is all about,
and a lady who needs his gazing to blossom.

She, needs his nurture to be complete.

Love Me...

I read a note my grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat and he showed it once to me
He said," Boy you might not understand, but a long long time ago
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I loved your grandma so
We had this crazy plan to meet, and run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter and this is what it said

*If you get there before I do, don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through,
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down,
Darling wait and see
And between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you..love me

I read those words just hours before my grandma passed away
In the doorway of a church where me and grandpa stopped to pray
I know I never seen him cry in all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her
His eyes filled up with tears *

And between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you... love me

Colin Raye - Love Me

A very sweeet song to listen to at time like this. Accidently dig it out from my collection of songs and fell in love with the melody instantly. Got soo addicted to it that it's been playing repeatedly non stop for a couple of days now...=)

A love sphere has been recently stirred upon KennySia's series of posts on the topic of men and women. It's a very attractive and interesting topic to discuss and it certainly has got me enveloping myself in the feel it has created...

That warmth, that wrenching feeling, that emotional touch,
Tingly.

That magical moment of two eyes meeting each other,
Breathtaking.

That never ending physical chemistry,
Electrifying.

Addictive, love is.

Things "She' Likes About 'He'

When he is sleeeping; that extreme long and curly eye lashes, that rhythmic breathing with occassional retarded snore, that smoothen-out frowning lines, that messy soft hair, that closed up lips awaiting to be moistured, that most peaceful babyee look of him, have never failed to make her wanting to shower him with endless soft gentle kisses all over as though that's the most precious thing in the world.

When he is getting his hand ready, before she reaches him; that patiently waiting expression on his face, watching her walking slowly towards him, that firm and tight grab when their fingers eventually crossed together, make her wants to have her hands to be held by his forever.

When he doesn't know how or what to react uponh her staring at him out of no reason for more than 10 seconds; that tad of embaressment and uneasiness, that slowly turning red face, and that cute lil round puppy eyes start wandering around, don't know where to lay his sight on, are simply too irresistable for her to not continue staring at him.

When he never allow her to feel left out in any occasions and his consistency in checkin her in if things are well; that bit of detailed observations of him, that understanding, caringness, gentleman-lity, that attitude of never take things for granted, that sense of security and reliability, that smile of assurance, that instant short and strong squeeze of his hands on hers, have captivated and melted her heart over and over again.

When he has his plans/views layed out and wanting to share with her; that confidence, that assertion, that moment of interactive mind and soul bonding session, make her knows that this is the one man that she would like to walk through the sunrise and sunset with.

There're many more when's....

That she wants to put down, for that have been part of her life.

And she will not allow it to be slipped off from her getting rusted memory.

p/s: I like the topic, what she or he likes recently posted on KennySia's blog. Never used to leave comments on the blogs I frequented, for this, I realised I can't help not to make an exception. =p

Yay!!!!!!!!

Yayyyyy!!!!!!!

Finally handed in that pathetic 10% assignment today! Phewwwwwwwwwwwww.

One day I have to relax before preparing for the next battle (as if heh)! =p

Left or Right Brain?

Saw this on Boon's blog. And no doubt, it interests me immediately. So long it is personality test, brain test, aptitude test, be it accurate or not, it will get me tryin. =)

So, I've loooked at it as the girl is turning in the direction of clockwise. And no matter how much I try to focus, I still can't get the picture of her turnin anticlockwise. Arghhh!!!

Conclusion: I'm a right brainer eh?

Let see what the description says.

LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses logic
detail oriented
facts rule
words and language
present and past
math and science
can comprehend
knowing
acknowledges
order/pattern perception
knows object name
reality based
forms strategies
practical
safe

RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS >> MEEEEEE aka the right brainer
uses feeling (GAWD, spot on!)
“big picture” oriented (ermm, if compared to my sister, hehe)
imagination rules
symbols and images
present and future (what bout past?)
philosophy & religion (philosophy perhaps, strongly influenced by my papa)
can “get it” (i.e. meaning) (huh?!!)
believes
appreciates (as usual, hehe)
spatial perception (I'm still tryin to understand the meanin of it)
knows object function
fantasy based (errrr, never thought so)
presents possibilities
impetuous (awww, that's soooo true!)
risk taking (don't think so eh, a lil maybe? heh)

And the funny thing is..

And the funny thing is, I would rather spend my limited time on reading blogs, updating my own, yacking away with friends.

I need some enlightenment!

The person in front of the mirror, with untied long messy hair, and bloodless lips looks kinda scary.

Oh, what has that 10% turned me into? Hmmph!

Goin nuts am I?

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Is today goin to be the last day I'll sit in front of this damn laptop writing this damn essay?!!!!

I'm bout to go nuts, I realised, for another second of looking at the word 'batch process', I will have spasm.

10% worth only essay, and I'm freakin stucked in the rooom, for that 2 freakin days. Awwwwwww. Has efficiency disappeared from my dictionary?

Hell.

I'll have my ABC soup now!

Random feelings

Few things make me happy lately; Met some really nice friends, been goin out, savouring the joy of freedom, got things under my way. But, the cheer seems to be shortlived. Came back into the room, I sat down, and started staring at my assignment, for a long while, I did nothing but staring. I recognise this feeling. It's loneliness. Why am I feeling lonely? I know I of all people have absolutely no right to feel lonely. So much love and support from my family and friends, I should have just shut up and be grateful for what I have.

Too much ups lately, it's perhaps time to get tone down a lil. The balance, remember? Certainly am feeling much better than yesterday, PMS is comin to an end soon. The best excuse on earth, isn't it?

It's time, to really go back to the paper.

PMSing perhaps?

Tonight’s one of those nights. those say-nothing-please-nights of bleakness and dissolution. Feeling a lil down, suddenly. Looking at the stacks of books and notes on the table, all I get is jus watery eyes. I'm havin PMS, perhaps. The time fits in well anyways.

It's an excuse, and I'm sticking to it.

Or mayb it's the song I'm listening to now. Sometimes, songs do get you sink into depression. Dont' they?

Tonight, I miss the smell of you, of home. Miss teasing my sister, and seeing her getting frustrated. =p For the first time having been here for more than a month plus, the feeling of missing shows its presence.

Smell. It's kinda strange that I no longer dislike the cigarattes smell that much, for it has served as an inducer to remind me of you. The smell of your cologne and the taste of the cig in your mouth. I'm not forgetting it, am I? Can I? or Will I?

'I'm sure you can do it', you have said it soo many times to me when I'm in need of support.

I remember.

But does remembrance lighten the shadows; does it warm one in the dead of winter? It cannot dispel the grief. But it certainly helps when it comes in the form of support that you're makin it into.

If remembrance is all that I have, and that's afterall what I've been holding on to.

I can do it!

Felt rather satisfactory when I managed to solve one of the many questions we were thrown at after all these lectures. Hehe.

It's been kinda demoralizing for the past weeks where 90% of the lectures, equations, functions are alient to me, and none of the questions are my friends. So for the first time, getting the right answer, I was a lil proud myself (jus a tad of it, hehe) that I'm able to teach my friend how to solve that problem. Hehe. It's one rare occasion. But lets hope that it'll be a norm as time goes.

Anyways, really, it's nothing to shout about becoz the assignment question still can't be solved! Grrrr. Stupid differential equation!

My precious parcel

Got the parcel from my sister and finally, my long waiting hook and the 3M stickers are here. Hehehe. Friend was like sayin, gosh, is this really just what it is to have my sister to get it all the way from Singapore (sister said, she couldnt even find it in KL, which is kinda weird, but nvm, so long I've them with me now, hehe) and send it all the way here. Just that 2 lil hooks and some stickers?

Hehe. Oh yeaaaa. They are my precious here. I can finally hang my worn cloths and bags in a nicer way and not jus dump them in the basket. =p It's surprising to not be able to find a decent 3M hook and that stickers or I think it's called some adhesive strips in Leeds. I might not have done a good job in searching, but I'd have assumed this should be easy at sight in most of the supermarkets, and when I simply jus couldnt get hold of it after searchin high and low in practically every sections, it's straight forward to make the conclusion that, yea, leeds don't sell 3M adhesive strips. =p And I've got no choice but to get them posted over. Hehehe.

I must say, thank you soo much, sister. Hehe, for wrapping them up sooo nicely too. Oh, and the blue tag. I can't seem to find it here either. Maybe I really do have cocked eye. Keke.

And last but not least, I've finally got a picture of my family displayin in my room. =)

This parcel does worth its cost, doesnt it?

My lil something...hehehe

It's some lil secret of me that you'll never know.

Still, as usual, talkin to you keeps me smiling. =) Especially now when you're not acting as cool as before (or perhaps it's only this instance...hmmmm =p). And that I can feel the 'free-ness' in your expression. Your complaint that I didn't read your email properly and hence replied you another thing, and the teasing of me having cocked eye. sweet. You are still as cute eh. How can I not keep in touch with you?

Knowing that you're at least happy no doubt makes me happy too. Not like I can or even in the position of taking away all the sadness or unsatisfaction or unhappiness from you, but I sincerely wish that I'll be able to see you in smile, like a babyeeee, again.

The Balance

The beauty of the universe is that it is built upon a cyclic loop. Where we start, is where we'll end at.

There's always a material balance, be it in the tangible or non (ie. emotion) form, it is something that we may not be aware of in our daily lives, but it's certainly the key of how everything works in this universe. Everything has gotta be in balance.

The question is, how are we to acheive that? Our body has it's own way of acheiving homeostasis.

What about our mind?

Gosshhh!!

OMG!!!! Was soooo excited when I got to know that one of my high school mate is in Glasgow, now!

That sudden excitement! Remember we're just talkin a couple of months back about our plan to UK, and sheeesh, now we're, me in Leeds, and she in Glasgow! And it feels kinda funny (in a good way, hehe), that we're just throwing questions to each other, non stop. 8 years of not seeing each other since high schoool, we're certainly goin to meet up, right here now!

I must have been too deprived in speaking to old friends eh?

Hehehe.

=))

Everything has gone back to how it was before.

I'm relief!! Heh. Not like I was really bothered by it, but still, to lose a friend just becoz of this silly reason is kinda stupid. We talked a lil, and somehow the topic went to you. Sheeesh. Never had I talked bout you this much to others when we were together. Kinda strange though, that it's only after the split that the memories of you and us stick to my mind all time. Weird!

He was askin, if at all I still have feelings for you. Yes. That's the answer I gave without a thought. But for a second, after sayin it, I was wondering, if that's really so. Or was I just simply missing the moments we had together and the effect of it was sooo great that it's translated immediately to as if I'm still in love with you. Hmmph. I don't know. Not anymore.

However, I knew I was smiling while talkin about the past, with you in the picture. =))

Anyways, glad that the mess that I have to put up with the other day was all settled.

Really am glad.

The welcome party

Went for the welcome party organised by this church group last night. Met a lot of nice people and was surprised myself that I was enjoying my time there. My initial intention was only to have the free food.

3 things that I've realised from this party:

1) that I'm physically unfit. Hehehe. Was panting quite a bit after the very first game which invoveld a lot of running. But, it's a lot of fun!

2) that I'm still a lovely young lad. Hehehe. Mixing with the crowd of the early 20s do make you look younger eh? Was told quite a number of times already that I don't look like my age. Good stuff to know! =p Please don't tell me I'm living in denial. =p

3) that I'm still socially active. Thought I've been a lil antisocial recently (not the exteme side but jus a lil less in havin the urge to mingle much), but heh, I do still like people. To talk to them, laugh with them, fool around together.

I can foresee that my stay in Leeds will be a great one, should I've put in some effort to make it as lovely!

Friendship

He has once said to me that, nothing goes forever and remains its state, and he has not found a friend he can really rely on or even get the full support when is needed, it has its sense but I do believe in 'friendship forever', clock ticks, we age, but I have faith in myself and the people around me. It's all about give and take. And the force of attraction. Reality is always cruel, many says. It might not be that ideal as we would like it to be, but I'm sure, sincerity counts.

Why certain people are always the first one we thought about when we need help? That's something worth pondering about.

I hope the chapter has ended now.

Sorrry, you said, not only once, but many times, which was rather to my surprise. Might be becoz I seldom get this when I was with him. =p

Have always thought that I did lay down enough hints to you that nah, I aint wanting no relationship now, but I supposed, 'with you' is the key word that should be added in. Specificity, and Yes and No answer are difficult, for cases as such. Felt rather bad to have put it soo bluntly across for I know it's nothing nice to the ear or eye but a moment of adding salt to the wound (maybe not this serious, but still, sigh). I just ain't good at this, am I?

Anyways, it's good too that things are put down clearly, in words, no more ambiguity, no more guessing game, no more misunderstanding.

To be friends that can talk and joke around, that's what I've enjoyed in the past couple of weeks, should we let that bit to develop further instead?

Seeking help from friends comes with price?

Just the next second after that excitement over the internet connection, I got myself into deep shit (not exactly bad, but still it's sth that should not happen)! Sigh.

Should have just kept a distance when knew that the person has interest in you and not jus ignore it and assume it's ok to be friends and hence continue askin for help. Should have and should have not eh?! But I supposed if the whole thing were to repeat again, I'll still do the same.
Double standard. Just becoz theres a lil something in between the 'friendship' and hence expectation builds exponentially and things easily got intepreted otherwise. Sigh.

'Let me know if you need any help, or anything'. Are these said merely to get something back in return? Shouldn't this be a sincere offer from friends? What I called friends. And how could this in the end be treated as though I'm 'using' the person, when in the first place, offering of help, in my sense, do not come with any price and it should be a genuine act.

Feelings. Do make one goes haywire sometimes, eh.

Hehehe, we've finally got our internet connection!!!

One whole month of living without the internet, and today, is finally the end of such torturing life. Hehehe. No more complaints now! =p

Was sooo excited when my housemate told me that she's managed to go online when I reached home this afternooon, and straight away, bag was dumped on my bed, and here I'm, online!!! =p

The next thing to do is to get a wireless router so that everyone in the house get to connect since now only 1 computer goes on at any one time.

My routine shall therefore, resume. Wink.

Happy day!!!!

Yogurt right after dinner, bad?

Yogurt after dinner is goin to reduce the absoprtion of the nutrients in your stomach and hence you'll never get the sufficient nutrients you had for dinner. How true is that?

Was told by a friend when he saw me eating yogurt right after my dinner meal, and he went, no wonder you're always this thin and started his reasoning that the bacteria in the yogurt are digesting all the food I just had in the stomach before they get the chance to be absorbed and digested in the intestine, hence when the bit and pieces reach the intestine, there are literally not much nutrients/proteins/what have you left and simply puts, I've just wasted a dinner meal. Hmmm, logic is there (sounds like it), but I ain't takin it as a fact. =p

Desert yogurt is yummy!!!

A Night Out At The Halo Club

A lot of fun, I had!! Never knew that I would enjoy it that much, heh, the club was pretty cool!

The music aint bad at all, and the crowd, was quite genuine. No drunkens, not too crowded, lots of cool chicks, and certainly no difficult issues arise. Clubbing organised by students is somewhat different eh. And most of all, it's a non-smoking club!! Hehe. At least I won't smell like cigarattes when I was out of the club. The smell of the mixture of perfume, sweat, alcohol plus cig can be daunting! =p

Only one small lil encounter that kinda pissed me off. It's a pretty common happening in clubs, but heck, body moves, but hands off please!! And the moral of the story is, never wear skirt to clubs (Heh, not like I was wearing a skirt, my friend was). This way of pickin up girls are simply disgusting!

Anyways, liked the night very much, and would have gone for a second one if any. (I think, wink). =p

News: Kon's engaged!!

Was excited when Kon told us that she's getting engaged, when she's in Rome and Kev's (her now fiancee) lil plan for that proposal. It was sweet, the way she described it.

Engagement. Since when we started talkin bout this? It's amazing isn't it? The cycle of life. I remembered just years ago, we were still discussing bout our studies, which uni to go to, the field of interest, den after graduation, we're talkin bout our boss, our job, our bills, and now, one after another, is either getting engaged or married. And I'm sure for the next couple of years, we'll be talkin bout hubby and kids eh. =p

Anyways, Kon. You've all my blessings, and stay happy always! Those mini tarts with that lil ring and magic words certainly are sweeet! I seriously can't wait to throw a bachelor party for you in the time comes!! It's goin to be a big and crayzeeee one yea!

My very first pay in pounds!! Hehe

£135 for 5 nights of HARD work!! Keke.

Not a lot of money, but hell, it's still something for 5 nights of being a counter lady at a chinese take-away.

And I've got an additional £10 for participating in one of those memory and emotion study. First time ever had electrodes sticked to my upper and lower left eyes, and chest. Looked kinda funny in the mirror. =p Wonder if my growling stomach had an effect on the results she got (was hungry as it's during lunch time that the experiment was taken, so can't blame me. keke).

Never thought that I'll be doin all these, but there are more to come. Another survey for £10 next week. =p

She said...

She said I looked really happy when I talked bout you. Hmmmph. I know I'm emotionally wise, just didn't know that it's that obvious till one can tell straight from my facial expression. I ain't good in hiding. Am I?

Anyways, there comes the point. Why should I need to hide? Heh. Hiding it from you, perhaps, so as to not complicate things, but I'm sure you'll know since you're pretty good at predicting my state of mood. =)

Oh well.

p/s: I think I should get the book named 'secret'. It looks kinda interesting. =)

Meant to be

Do things happen just like this? Or does every happening have its reason behind? Is fate the one determines who we'll be meeting in our lives?

Is this the reason why we have 'if this is meant to be' to explain the unexplainable?